Dr. J's Days

New War hero

2007-05-20T19:46:00.001-07:00

Well, this is the first time I've posted anything since the start of my internship (which, by the way is almost over- where does time go?). So what prompted this great change? Its the stupid bald mooley that you see above you, the new war hero! Yes, thats right, the Capra family finally has its first officer leading troops into battle! Never before has the family been so proud. Sure, Sgt Sandbox went to war not one, but count em, two times! But, he just stayed in a little tent far away from any real action surrounded by barbed wire and thick embankments. He was never in any real danger, and he liked it that way. Now, however, we have a leader - an officer - in the trenches, leading his troops to the death. Ahh, its almost as good as my at home martial arts program im currently enrolled in (by the way Yimmy if you stop paying for that you are dead to me.) Anyways, here is your chance ladies, gaze on him in all his splendor! Wearing the clothing of a true officer he flaunts like a glorious peacock. Yes you want him, but who doesnt? Anyways, he'll soon be dead, and I want his insurance money!

2006-08-10T18:36:00.000-07:00

I have now entered the worst possible part of being a doctor: Internship. The year after you graduate medical school you are technically an M.D, but everyone knows you by one name: the Intern. You get the worst hours, the patients that no one else wants, and all the crappy jobs that the other doctors dont feel like doing: Like manually disempacting an 80 year old constipated man with your index finger and some lube. But hey, I'm not going to let the man get me down! Its only one year and then I can start my Anesthesiology residency, which hopefully will be better. In the mean time I am enjoying one of the easiest months this year: My elective month! Since I'm going into anesthesia I thought I would select that as my elective, which is working out great so far. I do a solid two hours of work, then spend the rest of the day sleeping or playing video games...Brilliant! I know there was a reason I became a doctor!

Still kicking back..

2006-04-24T11:54:00.000-07:00

This is about as close as I am getting to real medicine these days, old episodes of ER. I have more important things on my mind now: Enjoying the last couple weeks of freedom before internship starts! Plus, now that Tony has announced the Capra battle royale and the Capra soccer tournament, I have to start preparing myself. I'm actually a little scared to participate in the battle royale with him after hearing of his frightening anger outbursts due to flashbacks. The other week he started yelling at someone at a soccer game, describing how he was "going to kill you, you *#%#$ Iraqi". The guy was a short hispanic looking dude, but I guess he looked terrorist like to Sgt Sandbox. Since then he has taken out his anger on various things such as the computer, a hammer, Tricia (who can blame him for that one), and now he wants to battle it out. He says he sleeps on the couch now so that he doesnt try to strangle his wife in her sleep. Well, you know what they say after deployment "Everyone gets a free kill." I think just to mess with him, when I pick him up from the airport I'll be wearing a turban and not have bathed for 6 days. Anyways back to training, and waiting for the next video from Mikey and Company..

Here Grandmaster, cut the red wire...

2006-04-14T13:53:00.000-07:00

Well since my self imposed haitus from work continues, we will talk today about the excitement in someone else's life again - the outcast we call Tony. True to his usual form Tony was reunited today with a figure out of his distant past...the man who long ago tested Tony for his black belt in Tae Kwon Do, yes none other than Grandmaster of ATA Taekwondo master S.H. Lee. Who, upon seeing Tony stated "Yousa look very familiar to mesa, Do I know you?" After performing the secret Taekwondo bow Tony replied, yes grandmasta, you tested me for black belt. The grandmaster then used his authentic ATA phone and called our old master Scott Stauffer, who of course remembered Tony "That lanky kid that had the little brother who broke his nose with a righteous hook kick? sure I know him!" Tony then received 3 VIP passes to a tournament tomorrow and some passes for a free class. Because, as you might of guessed, this chance meeting has prompted Tony to begin his ATA career again.

Not to be undone, Dr. J has also decided to begin his career in ATA over again after a 10 year break! I will not be bested by a man whose nose and back i once broke! I am returning to my roots! (with the exception of hiding poop-stained underwear behind my dresser, Tricia would find them)

Mikey-wan-baldi-kenobi...she is your only hope..

2006-04-11T08:38:00.000-07:00

So in case any of you have been wondering what or who I'm talking about when I state "go to her, beg for her forgiveness" her she is in all her glory.. The famous Holly. Michaels first love. Unfortunately he gave up this gem because she was too much of a woman for him, but we at the Capra family keep trying to convince his that, in enginerd terms, there is a direct corelation between the meters of hair loss and the difficulty in finding a suitable mate....(of the opposite sex Yimmy)

Recovery time.....for now

2006-04-11T08:26:00.000-07:00

Well being on the trauma team for orthopedics really took a lot out of me, but thankfully that time is done. I got to see some really unique injuries, and participate in numerous amputations, but its kind of like syphillis (fun for a while, but you dont want to live with it). So I have now settled down to a rotation that is much easier: Outpatient medicine clinic! Thats right, for 4 weeks all i have to do is attend clinic where fat people with high blood pressure, high cholesterol, diabetes, and joint complaints tell me how their life is miserable while I tell them to lose weight and give them medication to cover over their symptoms. An easy way to spend the last 4 weeks of my medical school career. Has it really been 4 years? Holy buddha that went quick (by the way I shart on buddhas face). To fill all my free time now I have engaged in the following hobbies:
1. Ballroom dancing (yes I know what you are thinking but I'm married and unlike Yimmy I'm actually doing it for a purpose other than attracting yee yees - I have to dance the Tango at the upcoming wedding)
2. Fencing. This one is fun, but it kind of stinks because my partner tricia has the full gear and I only have the foil thing, so it feels like my lung collapses every time she pokes me. I challenge any Capra to try and take her on in fencing, she is actually pretty good (she took a class so she cheated)
3. Violin. Ahh yess as a man of high society I have to work with sophisticated instruments such as the violin. I was shocked to find out that I had an old violin and all my old Suzuki books in my closet. For those of you wanting to hear my skill attend the wedding where I will be playing selected songs for your enjoyment.
4. Making fun of my bald brother....go to her.....you must beg for her forgiveness..

We need you Dr. J...Now!!!!!

2006-03-12T16:52:00.000-08:00

You may wonder what some hotdogs and sausages on a gril have to do with medicine...apparently everything. There I am sitting in clinic, bored of seeing the same old stuff. Its Friday and I'm feeling like going home and wasting time playing Halo2. All of the sudden the intern runs in with his scrubs on, eyes wide, panting for breath. "Hey Jason there you are! Ive been looking all over for you!" He shouted. All the eyes in the clinic turned to me with inquisitive looks. I sharted...just a bit. As a medical student you do a lot of useless crap througout the years, but you are always waiting for that one defining moment; that moment when someone actually needs you, when you actually come through for somebody by using bit of knowledge that you picked up over the last four years. This was my moment, this was it. Standing up fast, I shoved the chair I was sitting to the corner and yelled "I'm ready whats up!?" He looked scared, so I could tell it was something bad, the shart must have really hit the fan if they needed my help. "Can you cook hotdogs and sausages?" he said. Thinking he was joking to help him deal with the stress of the current situation I laughingy replied "Of course man, I'm Italian!". "Good" He said "I need someone to watch the grill for me while I go to the OR, can you handle that man? The ortho team always cooks sausages and hotdogs on Fridays...Can you do it?" No problem. Out the back door I trudged and with my white coat and scrubs on I cooked sausages and hotdogs for a few hours. They actually turned out pretty good, but now my white coat smells like charcoal. Oh well, I guess things could have been worse....I could be getting a degree in engineering and going bald....Go to her...beg for her forgiveness......

The cost of freedom

2006-03-08T17:11:00.000-08:00

A view from my spot on morning rounds at 0545. The end of the bed in the surgical ward. What you see in front of you is part of a marine, with part of a leg.

Cant write much, have to go to sleep so I can wake up at 3:45AM to go back to work. I'm on the Ortho trauma team, which means one thing - Operation Iraqi Freedom IED casualties - All Day. These unfortunate marines get medivac'd in almost every day from germany and most of them have either missing or extrememly mangled limbs - or both. Today I used a saw to perform a below the knee amputation on a 22 year old, I helped clean out a wound after an above the knee amputation, and I stuck my hands inside a marines arm to feel if he had any tendons left after getting hit while being a gunner on a vehicle. How did I know if they were tendons? I pulled on them until I saw his fingers move. Its one thing to hear about stuff on TV, or see it in passing, its completely another to be covered in the blood of someone that could very well have been you or one of your brothers. As I came back home to Andrews AFB today and stopped my car on the road for the sound of the National Anthem, It meant a little something different. This stuff sucks, but there are brave people out there every day putting their lives on the line, and they deserve our thanks..Come home safe Sandbox

2006-03-04T08:40:00.000-08:00

Well my last ER shift was yesterday, my rotation is now over. Looking back on the experience - I actually enjoyed it. There was always something going on, and I got a lot of good IV practice. I would just wait till the ambulance rolled in, and while everyone else was doing important stuff like asking the patient what was wrong, starting oxygen, or hooking up monitors, I would sit in the corner and bide my time. The technicians would go to the cabinet and pick up all the IV supplies (tourniquet, needle, hep-lock, tubing, lab viles), and when they walked over to the patient I would get in thier way at the last second and stare at the IV supplies. They would usually apologize that they got in my way and ask me if I was already starting the IV. I would reply, with a fake hint of anger in my voice, "Of course I am!", then I would take their supplies and puncture that vein! I never got bold enough to try a 14 gauge, but I got pretty good with the 18. Every once in a while I would actually try to help out patients the real way, but my confidence was shattered when I told a mom that her kids ear drum was filled with pus and I was completely wrong. In fact, what had happened was that I pushed a big ball of ear wax against the ear drum as I was trying to scoop it out, so when I took a look and saw this big yellow thing i stated out loud "Yep, thats a lot of pus, your child is going to need serious antibiotic therapy." Later the attending came in, took one quick look and asked the mother "What happened to your childs ear? There is a big ball of impacted wax against his eardrum?" I quickly exited the room, wrote an order for irrigation of the ear (which, after irrigation was found to be fine) and made sure not to make eye contact with anyone.

Now I fill my days until the next rotation by sitting at home watching home videos over and over again. Above you see Kristin dancing to her favorite section of Fruth. Mikey called last night and said that he made a new video, so I'll be puttin that on the site once I return from Fredericksburg on Sunday.

Next up..... Ortho Surgery for 4 weeks...

Pictures from the front

2006-02-25T08:24:00.000-08:00

Sandbox up high looking for Dirka Dirka's to snipe. Those are some nice BDUs eh? Although I dont think that the railing provides much cover or concealment. That's real Capra courage!!! From what I hear, most Air Force people that are deployed to Iraq never leave the confines of the base. They even made a special term for leaving the base since it's so rare for them. I think its called "crossing the wire" or something like that. Well in this picture Sandbox is telling them to take their wire back home to their mamas - he lives outside the wire. This picture reminds me of Capra Christmas this year. We had a new game where people tried to have their teamates guess a word by saying every word except the one they had. For example, if the word was Rachel you would have to say "Capra girl that wipes with her hand, engaged to rectanglehead, etc." Well the game was all tied up, James was giving out the hints and michael had to guess the word... it was EOD. It seemed too easy at first, but we all know what a iodiot savant mikey can be. James hinted "This is what tony does!!"..silence..."this is what tony is doing now! His job!!"..more silence..Finally Jimmy went for the most obvious hint, it was a little racy for Christmas, but Yimmy lives on the edge "Mother f-ing" he yelled, with his eyes wide "Mother f-ing!" Mikeys reply as the buzzer sounded "Jihad?" He lost it for his team, but most importantly, he lost his honor...true story..

Pictures from the front

2006-02-25T08:20:00.000-08:00

Tony patrolling with the SAW. You know he is shaking under the weight of that thing, but he hides it pretty well.

Dr. Bomb squad, you better do something!

2006-02-20T09:23:00.000-08:00

So after dragging myself out of bed this morning for another 12 hour weekend shift in the ER, I made it to work and things were going pretty well. But I couldn’t figure out why everyone was walking by me saying stuff like “Hi bomb squad”, “paging Dr. Bomb squad”, or “I need a bomb squad, stat!” Finally I realized that I had worn my favorite EOD tshirt under my cheap white coat, which was totally see-through. In order to stop the ridicule, I decided to head to the break room and change into the good old fashioned scrub top. On the way I stopped to take a quick call from Sgt Sandbox, who let me know that the war effort is still going strong. Raising my fist to my EOD insignia in a silent bomb squad salute, I hung up and continued to change. Wandering out of the break room a few minutes later I immediately noticed some unusual excitement. A nurse was leading a blood stained mother and a bleeding, screaming child towards one of the exam beds and yelling “Doc! I need a doc here!” “Oooh this might be interesting to watch” I thought, so I started to follow the slowly building crowd around the kid. As they got to the exam bed the nurse started rattling off vital signs and story details like some episode of ER. “Man I hope the Doctor is getting all this stuff” I thought, “he is going pretty fast”. I only caught a few words like “running with a wooden whistle”, “bleeding from mouth and nose”, and “synthroid.” Then, just as suddenly as all the talking began, it stopped. I got this sick feeling as I realized that everyone was suddenly looking at me! Looking around I noticed that the attending physician was nowhere to be found; they were talking to me the whole time. “Holy crapa! What the frik am I supposed to do now?” I knew that I had to do something, everyone expected me to, but I had no idea what! Turning back to the patient, I could see a worried mother whose clothes were smeared with blood, and a screaming boy laying on his back with blood oozing from his nose and mouth. Every now and then he would gag and cough up some thick dark fluid. I knew instantly from his features that he had down syndrome and hypothyroidism, but that was second year med school crap, what good did that do me now?? Then it came to me, a small thought in my big head. “What would Sandbox do??, he would go right for the action baby, right for the action!” I started to move towards the bed. “Tongue blade now!, and sit this kid up I don’t want him aspirating blood! Get me some suction!” A wooden tongue blade was slapped in my left hand and a couple of airmen pulled the kid to a seated position while another one got the suction tube ready. “Hold him down!” I tried to calmly shout above the screams. I flipped on my pen light, scissored the kids mouth open with the blade, and there it was. A gaping hole in the top of his hard palate that was producing blood. The whistle must have poked right through it when the kid took a fall. It looked bad. Luckily for me the attending showed up behind me right then, since I had no idea what to do next! After reporting my findings I let myself be jostled to the edge of the crowd around the exam table. My part was done. I walked away to go clean the feces out of my soiled undergarments and heard “good job bomb squad!” as I rounded the corner. As an old fobbit once told me: It’s hard being this good.

Olympic fever baby!!!

2006-02-17T19:28:00.000-08:00

Who has time for work when there is olympics to watch!!! I cant be bothered with patients, I have to watch sweeden take on Canada in ice hockey. The olympics aren't quite as exciting as the summer games, but I've always liked to watch the hockey matches. So instead of taking care of people I have been making a habit of sneaking off to the break room to take in some hockey. Only the most interesting of cases will draw me from my cave...A case like today. A huge woman came in complaining of a "foreign object" protruding from her urethra. When I asked her what it was she gave me a discusted look and said "I dont look down there! Just get rid of it so I can get some, I aint got none in a while, not even on Valentines day!" Mind you, this woman was 59. So, I politely asked her if I could look "down there". Without a moments hesitation she jumped up on the bed, propped her leg open by laying it up against the wall, and volia - there it was: A small blue tube protruding from her urethra - with a small string attached....Now the pieces were starting to fall together. After a quick consult call to urology we confirmed that it was in fact a urinary stent placed after the patient was diagnosed with a kidney stone. Urology's instruction: yank that bad boy out. I grabbed a clean pair of clamps, grabbed a chaperone, and headed to the room. With a couple of good yanks out it came, man that thing was long!! I dont know how Sandbox pulled his own out - Now that's a real American hero! Dirka Dirka to him!

Why does it always come to this

2006-02-09T19:31:00.000-08:00

Another 12 hour shift down! Yep you guessed it, we are looking at a set of images that make up a pelvic ultrasound. Look like a lot of confusing lines to you? Thats because you are stupid. To us smart people it looks like black and white confusing lines. Good thing that the radiologist reads it and tells us exactly what it means. Anyways, we were doing a pelvic ultrasound on this 19 year old girl to rule out an ovarian abscess or pelvic inflamatory disease. I actually thought to ask her if she was sexually active, so I give myself credit for that one. When she replied, no, not in a loooong time; I thought "Ok, so like 2 years." Later on the ER doc came in and asked her the same question and she answered "Not in a loooooong time, like 2 or 3 weeks!" Hmmmm...I guess I'm just not that astute at reading people. It was great when her parents came in (she wanted them to) and I got to tell the whole family that she had Pelvic Inflamatory Disease, or PID. The mom replied, "oh really, what could cause that?". My head hurt as I tried to search for the medical term for the clap. But hey, thats why they pay me the big bucks. "Gonorrhea or Chlamydia". No way to sugar coat that stuff. As I walked out I played my own theme music in my head. I thought of something good, that old Shaft song. "Capra! You're darn skippy.." Lesson for today - Dont friken fornicate!!

Paging Dr. Ross.

2006-02-07T07:18:00.000-08:00

With radiology safely behind me, I move on this week to 12 hour shifts of a little more exciting stuff - the ER. The picture you see is a pretty accurate description of life in the ER: A lot of waiting around "the desk" while you figure out paperwork and try to make sure that you see all the patients. Its interesting because even on a military base you still get a lot of strange people coming in for help. For example, towards the end of my shift I walked in to see this guy who had taken a kitchen knife and sliced up his chest and shoulders becuause he found out his wife was having an affair. After talking to him for a while I did what any good ER physician would do: Paged psychiatry and said "we've got a live one for you to see!" As I was walking out the door at the end of my shift the guy stopped me and asked "Can my wife come in and wait with me in the room?" I saw no harm in that so I said "sure!" I went out and got his wife, picked up my stuff and started to leave again. As I rounded the corner to the exit I looked back and saw 3 nurses sprinting into his room with worried looks on thier faces...I never looked back, for my work there was done..Its nice that I can help bring people back together again.

s/p Monday

2006-01-31T05:29:00.000-08:00

Whew I made it past monday again, which means I made it past leg day! Did I tell you how much I hate leg day? But never forget that what seperates the men from the murses is those that actually do squats anyways, even though they hate them. Its only a matter of time before I hit the 160 mark!
So this weekend I decided to get a little stupid and bought a new car. Tricia has been wanting an SUV for a while so we picked up the toyota highlander hybrid. For a hybrid, it actually only gets around 30mpg, but people tell me that is good for an SUV.
I just got a call from Jimmy yesterday trying to convince me that he really does live in a castle. I'm still skeptical, but you can actually look it up on google. Just search under "Castle Rimburg". Jimmy did say that "those who dont believe, will not be granted access across the moat and into that paradise that is now my domain." In other news, Jimmy told me that he is traveling to Amsterdam this weekend for some vacation time...oh yeah, that will end up good......just stay away from the "special" cigars....

2006-01-27T09:43:00.000-08:00

Oh praise Jebus its the last of my clinical days in Radiology!! I still have one week left in the rotation, but it's just lectures, and I'm used to those. At least I dont have to sit behind people anymore. Speaking of that, you know when you are really disliked in the radiology dept when the above happens to you. Thats right, I'm now sitting behind not one, but two people!! The farther away you get from the action the less they like you, and I'm so far away that I cant even see the screen -even with my 20/15 laser corrected vision (Which, by the way, I HIGHLY recommend). So there is no radiology case for today, too bad.
In other news, I'm on the end of week three with my noxplode (I take Sat and Sundays off) and I've gained around 4 pounds so far. I have been sticking pretty strictly to my diet, and I've actually increased my cardio by attending more jiu jitsu classes, so I dont think that its body fat. It could be just water retention, but oh well. Im at 156 lbs, and trying for the great 160! I've never been able to get that high, but it is within my grasp. I think that all the potent fraction of my NoXplode must have settled to the bottom, because now that I'm almost done with it I am getting a lot more punch out of it! After about 20 minutes the palms start sweating and I feel like I must lift heavy objects!!

When the going gets tough, Dr. J finds ways to cheat work.

2006-01-25T18:30:00.000-08:00

I just had to get out of work today, for my mental health. My skin tone, while usually a nice shining Ivory, has become pale and sickly. Due to spending all day in a dark room, my once vibrant skin now looks like a zombie from Resident Evil. So I decided to use all my eight plus years of post high school education to conjure up a way to get out of work. I told my work that I was going to another hospital to view virtual colonoscopies, and I would be gone the whole day. Sounded scholarly right? So I actually did go to the other hospital, viewed one virtual colo from start to finish, and left. The rest of the day was nap time!! Ahhh I amaze myself...Oh lest I forget, above is the case of the day. What do you think about this one??? If you noticed the small white dot in the lower left corner (the patient's right lower quadrant), then good for you, you have identified your first fecolith. Whats that? Well lets break it down: Feco-Crap, poop, shat, take your pick. Lith-stone. Basically a crap stone that results from high fat low fiber diet. This particular fecolith blocked off the patients appendix resulting in ruptured appendicitis. Lesson today - Eat oatmeal!! And if you have right lower stomach pain go to the hospital before your appendix ruptures!!
Week 3 of NOxplode, still gets me hyper, but pumps are normal. I'm kind of addicted to it so I might have to buy another bottle!

2006-01-24T07:18:00.000-08:00

2006-01-24T07:09:00.000-08:00

The above picture shows us busy at Krispy Kreme this past weekend

Ahh Monday has come and gone, and it was just one of those days. The days where you feel so lazy that you don’t even update your blog. Plus, to make it worse it was leg day at the gym, the bane of my existence. For some reason I don’t mind lifting unless it is leg day. I hate squats, I hate leg presses, I hate calf raises. It just adds to the frustration of Monday in general since I always have legs scheduled for the first day of the week. The only good thing is that everyone does chest on Mondays (losers), so the leg stuff is wide open. Actually, its pretty open every day of the week since most people don’t ever work legs! (losers). Nothing looks worse than a big upper body and toothpick legs.

Well back to radiology. I’m on week two and I don’t think that I can take much more. It is so flippen boring! All I do is sit here and look at the same thing, all day, every day! By the way, the picture that I took of that radiologist’s back may be his last known picture – he hasn’t been back to work since Wednesday last week, and no one knows where he is! I guess the xrays just get to ya after a while…

Last subject: I got an email today from who else but…Lawfawnda!!! She sent me an email describing her failed attempts to get in touch with Yimmie! It seems as though he has left her and didn’t even give her is new number, his new address, nothing. So being the nice brother that I am I provided her with all his contact info that I have. I don’t have the address for his new house yet, but once I have it, so will she. Plus, I told her about him living in a castle. What can be cooler than a white guy living in the servant’s quarters of a german castle?? Nothing baby, nothing..

Teach yourself?? You must be crazy!

2006-01-19T16:18:00.000-08:00

Well I got tired of looking at radiologist's backs, so I decided to take my education into my own hands. I grabbed a bunch of old xrays, found an empty room with that radiology light thingy on the wall, and this is where I spend my days. Going over one after the other to try and teach myself pattern recognition..or at least how not to look like a fool when someone tells me to read an xray. It is actually really hard to find real xrays now since everything is digital, but I guess I got lucky. The films I have up here are from a women with squamous cell carcinoma of the cervix. The one on the left is a chest xray taken after she complained of weight loss and cough, and the one on the right is another chest xray taken a few months later when her symptoms continued. Now I still dont know much about xrays, but I do know that the black parts of your lungs should stay black, and not be filled up with white stuff. Yep you guessed it, metastatic cancer of the cervix. The patient died a few months later. Ugh you say! How do I not get cervical cancer you say?! Well here is a hint, nuns dont get it...

Radiology, the blues...

2006-01-18T10:05:00.000-08:00

ZZZZZZ....huh! I'm paying attention, really! Sadly, although Ive found that radiology is a really nice job for radiologists, its pretty boring for medical students. Here you see me performing my new job: looking over someones shoulder while they interpret xrays. This is actually a CT scan of an old guy who has chronic otitis media (ear infections for you normal people). I guess they did the CT scan (oh yeah, if you are really cool you call them "CT" scans not "CAT" scans even though it is the same exact thing. Its just another method we use to tell ourselves that we are smarter than average people - kind of like when people outside Oregon say ore-gone - you know right away they are stupid) Anyways, the CT scan showed a cancer near that was blocking the drainage of his eustacian tubes causing the chronic infections. I was so excited to figure this out that I.....zzzzzzzz.

On another note, Im on week two of using NoXplode, which as far as I can tell has done absolutely nothing except make me hyper. If you dont know what Im talking about then you dont lift weights and once again - Im smarter!

2006-01-13T14:24:00.000-08:00

Yes I've been lazy again, but when it is your last christmas vacation of medical school you want to make it worth it!! So I have been slacking off big time. But alas, medicine never rests. Fortunately for me, my medicine rotation is over with, and now I've moved on to a much less time consuming subject: Radiology. I dont really know anything about xrays except that I think bones look white, and the paper is black, so I figured that before I become a clueless intern I might as well learn some of the basics. So Here is one of my first cases. Can you guess whats going on? This patient complained of shortness of breath with walking and swelling of both of her feet. Yes, I agree! Sounds like heart failure! But why the strange xray? If you guessed that it was an xray of a person laying on his/her left side you would be correct! Unfortunately for us this person had some fluid in her left lung, and the xray was supposed to be taken with the right side down - so this was pretty much a waste to look at. But oh well, I get paid anyway!

2005-12-15T17:33:00.000-08:00

Sorry for skipping a few days, I had to take some time off to celebrate my recent selection to anesthesia!! Yes! It will be the good life for me from now on. Starting some IV's, sticking tubes down peoples throat, and sitting behind a curtain reading a good book (while not letting someone die at the same time, of course). Ahh it will be great, all I have to do is get through 1 year of internal medicine internship. But its only a year, right?......right? Well anyways I'll be doing a lot of what you see in this picture: rounding. Rounding can take minutes, or hours - depending on how many patients you have to discuss, and how slow your team is. Rounding is particularly painful for the med student becuase it means one thing - question time! Most of the time you either try to avoid eye contact, or just sit somewhere where no one can see you. This session was particularly boring, so I decided to snap a few photos. Seconds later i was asked " what are the major causes of pleural effusions?" to which i smartly replied "Um...."

2005-12-13T18:58:00.000-08:00

An Apple a day keeps the bronchoscopy away. Here is a picture I snapped in the ICU of a pulmonary critical care Doc and his technician giving someone a bronchoscopy, which is basically a colonoscopy of the lungs. The docs back is blocking the screen and the patient, but you get the idea. This is a classic case of why medicine can be a bad thing. The lady was hospitilized for pneumonia and found out that, whoops, she had lung cancer. The cancer is pretty bad and is already spread all over the place. She will probably be dead in less than 6 months. Being the good doctors we are, we offered her the bronchoscopy so that we could get a look at the Cancer and take a biopsy of it to determine exactly what type of Canc it is. And what will that do for the patient, you ask? Absolutely nothing! She will die regardless! But of course we had to badger her until she accepted the procedure just so we could know. So the procedure goes OK, but afterwards she goes into respiratory distress, has to be intubated, and will now be on ventilator for at least two days. All so we can find out what type of Canc this is before she croaks..Sometimes I hate this stuff, actually since I've been doing inpatient medicine its more like ALL the time I hate this stuff. Oh well, good news is that I find out tomorrow what job I get!!! Its a little scary to know that in less than 24 hours the next 20 years will be decided for you....

2005-12-08T18:55:00.000-08:00

Another long day at the hospital..But what's this, Its CONAN! I found this book laying in a corner at the hospits and picked it up, since I found that it actually has some pretty good lines in it. As you can see, I have begun to carry it covertly behind my clipboard so when a patient starts babbling on about something I can shout out a classic Conan line! One patient started telling me about the bad neighborhood she lived in so I retorted with the famous Conan saying "Barbarism is the natural way of things, civilizaition is merely a whim of society, thus Barbarism will always triumph." It was a lot nicer than telling her the first quote I flipped to: "Son of a Cardathian whore!"

2005-12-06T18:41:00.000-08:00

Ahh the essential medical student skill, one that has taken me 4 years to learn: How to find an unused closet and take a nap during down time. You may notice me performing an advanced technique in this picture, the "I'm not sleeping Im just listening to my heart with my eyes closed" technique. Very advanced, not for nurses. Inpatient medicine continues...is it only Tuesday??? This is killin me! 9 days until match day! (when we find out what job we get) Will I get Anesthesiology and be able to live my dream lifestyle of sitting behind a curtain and reading books? Only time will tell. Until then I wait....and treat pus eye.

2005-12-05T19:31:00.000-08:00

Inpatient medicine....the two words most medical students dread. There are two types of medicine: inpatient and outpatient. Now outpatient is just clinic stuff, your basic 7:30 to 4:30 day with plenty of time for idle conversation and lunch breaks. Inpatient, on the other hand, is all hospital ward medicine...and it stinks. Get there when its dark, leave when its dark, and just deal with sick people all. day. long. Todays episode: The revenge of the pus eye. You know its going to be a bad day when you get to work and they say, "oh we have a good learning case for you!" Just my luck it was a 27 year old Airman with orbital cellulitis.....pus eye. " go ahead and do the exam by yourself, we'll just all stand there and watch you" Yeah, right! That was just code for "you touch the pus eye, we dont want to!" So in I go...0630 and I'm psyching myself up so I don't gag infront of everyone. In I walk and..shitaki mushrooms that thing was the biggest reddest most swollen pustular eye I had ever seen...just running with yellow ooze. "Great, how am I supposed to examine this thing?" I thought.."I dont even know where to start!" I put on a pair of gloves as everyone watched. I walked up to the patients bed. "Do something that looks smart...dont look like a fool!" I kept telling myself. Before I knew it my gloved finger jabbed out at the upper eyelid releasing a stream of foul yellow pus. "Hoover dam did I just poke an eye ball? What kind of moron am I" I thought. But as I heard the collective "ahhh" behind me, I quickly turned the tide to my advantage with a quick Capra lie "As you can see, spontaneous drainage with gentle manual pressure, no need for surgical drainage, continue antibiotic therapy" Flicking my glove into the trash trying to look cool I noticed a small fleck of eye pus spattered on the wall..No matter, I somehow looked like I knew something, this was a moment to be savored.....I gave myself a mental sterile high five...

2005-09-21T03:28:00.000-07:00

Cold Streak! I knew it had to happen sooner or later, but it still stinks! All of the sudden none of my IVs are going in, I'm blowing up veins that I should be able to open with my teeth! Arrg this isnt going good. Hopefully today Ill snap out of it, I cant take much more of this substandard performance!!!

2005-09-18T16:08:00.001-07:00

Ahh, enjoying a cup of coffee at the place we call Capra Country club during my past trip to old Portland

2005-09-18T16:08:00.000-07:00

Capra Archive

2005-09-18T16:05:00.000-07:00

Its time to wrap up another short weekend and head back to work. I always hated Sunday nights cause you know that the next day is Monday! But hey, with this new anesthesia gig I got going, I should only be working till around 1 or 2 anyways, so no problem! The Capra video is coming along great, we worked on the opening credits this weekend. Next weekend we are planning to shoot the final battle scenes and wrap things up. Jimmy and Mike better have some good films if they expect to beat this movie at the Capra Christmas!

2005-09-15T18:22:00.000-07:00

Yknow, getting off at 2:00 in the afternoon is something that I could get used to! This anesthesia thing just keeps getting better and better! Today we had this kid come in with a broken arm from falling off a jungle gym. Its always pretty squirmy when you do stuff with kids cause you really dont want to mess up. It just makes you feel bad, and the parents get really mad....So there I am watching them put the kid to sleep in the OR and the next thing you know they hand me the tube to shove down his throat! All I could think of was "dont mess this up you bed wetter or you'll go back to the minor leagues where the murses are." Luckily, the tube slid in without too much problems, which was good because I cant hold my breath for that long...On other news, Im still on the chili diet (which still tastes pretty good), and I haven't gained one pound with my new workout plan.....rrrrrrr. Hopefully this weekend I can wrap up shooting the video.

2005-09-12T13:17:00.000-07:00

Oh yeah, Tricia started us on some new diet today consisting of protein/banana/oatmeal shakes for breakfast and chili for lunch, its actually pretty good! Here is a link to my online fitness journal, you can follow along as I attempt to reach 165 pounds by Capra Christmas 2005. http://www.fitday.com/WebFit/PublicJournals.html?Owner=jcapra

2005-09-12T13:15:00.000-07:00

Well today was another day of hard work, until 12:30 in the afternoon that is! Anesthesiology is great! Who cares if you have to get there early in the morning, you get off earlier than anyone else in the hospital! I did keep busy in my 6 hours of work today. I attempted shove tubes down 3 peoples throats (I missed one and it started to bleed pretty bad, so someone took over. I started three IV's and only missed once. Actually, it was kind of a bad miss. I was doing good, fishing around, making the excuse that the patient's veins were rolling (anything to get the pressure off me), then I changed the angle of the needle and plunged in way to far. I felt tendon, bone, or something bad and the patient started shouting. Soooo I stopped that one and tried a new vein. I let her know that the reason I missed is because "they" gave me too big of a needle and now I was going to use a smaller one. I actually just used the same size but luckily it went in on the first attempt. I then quickly mopped the blood off the floor before anyone could see how much of a loser I was, said some kind words, and ran away. Whew!

2005-09-11T17:20:00.000-07:00

Ahh what a lazy weekend. I ended up wasting most of my time and not editing any more of the video, but I did manage to read 2 chapters of my Anesthesiology textbook and invent a new pool basketball game so the weekend wasnt a total waste! I'm excited about my new story that is about to go on the Capra Frontpage: Joe and Tasha; too hot to handle? If you dont know what I'm talking about, just wait until you read the story and you'll get it. Who am I kidding? No one reads this website anyways!

2005-09-01T22:03:00.000-07:00

Ahh, my little daugther, off to fight imperial scum!

2005-09-01T22:01:00.000-07:00

ugh....tired...its 1:11 in the morning and instead of sleeping I'm up writing this. Yknow when you accomplish something really big and then you just feel like wasting time? Well thats what I did all day today from 4

2005-08-31T18:21:00.000-07:00

So finally, tomorrow is the big day! My test! Im not too worried about passing, since I've done the stuff for long enough, I just want to make sure that I do a good enough job. Oh well, whatever happens tomorrow at least I'll be done with it and I can move on to more important stuff like completing the rest of my video! On another note, I started this new workout plan today with my ultimate goal being to reach 170 pounds. At 153.4 I've got a long way to go!

2005-08-29T20:35:00.000-07:00

who's your daddy?

2005-08-29T20:34:00.000-07:00

Two jedi nerfherders between scenes.

2005-08-29T20:31:00.000-07:00

Well another day of studying, it seems to be my lot in life. Actually, I did pretty good today and read an entire chapter on Obstetrics and some of a surgery chapter. The big test is on Thursday: Step 2 of the medical licensing exam - no choice but to pass if I want to make the big bucks. I'll study some more before then, but I'm starting to feel like my head is getting full, for every little bit that I remember, I forget something else! Oh well, at least I get to continue work on the video this weekend, which surprisingly is turing out to be a lot better than I intended. Jimmy is going to have a run for his money. On another note, Capelle actually emailed me back, what a friken guy! Its always good to hear from old friends, even if they are short and from Guam......and outrank me....sir.

2005-08-25T13:54:00.000-07:00

Well another day another chance to study....whooops I knew I forgot something!! I guess I've already got senior-itis, and its only been a few months into my senior year! I really should be studying more since the second part of my licensing exam is next Thursday, but...there's always tomorrow. My real excuse is that I had to set up the new planet capra page, which I think is going to work out a lot better than the old page. Since no one ever visited the old page ever, you cant do much worse.

2005-08-02T14:43:00.000-07:00

Well its another fine day in my 2 week vacation. Ahh it sure is nice to have 14 whole days where I dont have to do one rectal exam! Tomorrow we are going camping, which I never have quite understood. Why would people voluntarily go back to living in the friken wilderness when they have the internet and Xbox! At least we get to burn wood and old theater popcorn (which, by the way, is great fuel).

2005-04-26T00:14:00.000-07:00

How far do you think we could swim before the sharks get us?

2005-04-26T00:06:00.000-07:00

Well today was another day in Paradise! I spent my whole day taking care of a patient who graciously informed me of the microchip that the government had implanted in his jaw and the green drainage from his leg, his genitals, and his but. Oh, and how could I forget the south African voices that he heard in his head telling him to slit his wrists. Funny, when I told him to show me the green drainage he looked all over for 10 minutes only to discover.....It had been spontaneously healed!! Holy Benny Hinn!

2005-03-26T05:51:00.000-08:00

Welcome to the New and improved Dr. J's days. Here you see Dr. J and his small patient. Just making sure to give her a good physical exam before we go to Hawaii! (See Tony, I really do go to work...sometimes..) Our next 3 months of Dr. J's days will be coming to you from the great state of Hawaii, so be sure to check back daily for good pictures and stories. I'll be doing a physchiatry rotation and then OBGYN, so I'm sure to have some good tales! Tonight all the animals are coming over for a movie night and Dance Dance revolution party, so I'll take a couple pictures and post them before we leave.

The beginning

2005-03-22T10:14:00.000-08:00

Welcome to another instalment of Dr. J's Days!