New War hero

Well, this is the first time I've posted anything since the start of my internship (which, by the way is almost over- where does time go?). So what prompted this great change? Its the stupid bald mooley that you see above you, the new war hero! Yes, thats right, the Capra family finally has its first officer leading troops into battle! Never before has the family been so proud. Sure, Sgt Sandbox went to war not one, but count em, two times! But, he just stayed in a little tent far away from any real action surrounded by barbed wire and thick embankments. He was never in any real danger, and he liked it that way. Now, however, we have a leader - an officer - in the trenches, leading his troops to the death. Ahh, its almost as good as my at home martial arts program im currently enrolled in (by the way Yimmy if you stop paying for that you are dead to me.) Anyways, here is your chance ladies, gaze on him in all his splendor! Wearing the clothing of a true officer he flaunts like a glorious peacock. Yes you want him, but who doesnt? Anyways, he'll soon be dead, and I want his insurance money!

I have now entered the worst possible part of being a doctor: Internship. The year after you graduate medical school you are technically an M.D, but everyone knows you by one name: the Intern. You get the worst hours, the patients that no one else wants, and all the crappy jobs that the other doctors dont feel like doing: Like manually disempacting an 80 year old constipated man with your index finger and some lube. But hey, I'm not going to let the man get me down! Its only one year and then I can start my Anesthesiology residency, which hopefully will be better. In the mean time I am enjoying one of the easiest months this year: My elective month! Since I'm going into anesthesia I thought I would select that as my elective, which is working out great so far. I do a solid two hours of work, then spend the rest of the day sleeping or playing video games...Brilliant! I know there was a reason I became a doctor!

Still kicking back..

This is about as close as I am getting to real medicine these days, old episodes of ER. I have more important things on my mind now: Enjoying the last couple weeks of freedom before internship starts! Plus, now that Tony has announced the Capra battle royale and the Capra soccer tournament, I have to start preparing myself. I'm actually a little scared to participate in the battle royale with him after hearing of his frightening anger outbursts due to flashbacks. The other week he started yelling at someone at a soccer game, describing how he was "going to kill you, you *#%#$ Iraqi". The guy was a short hispanic looking dude, but I guess he looked terrorist like to Sgt Sandbox. Since then he has taken out his anger on various things such as the computer, a hammer, Tricia (who can blame him for that one), and now he wants to battle it out. He says he sleeps on the couch now so that he doesnt try to strangle his wife in her sleep. Well, you know what they say after deployment "Everyone gets a free kill." I think just to mess with him, when I pick him up from the airport I'll be wearing a turban and not have bathed for 6 days. Anyways back to training, and waiting for the next video from Mikey and Company..

Here Grandmaster, cut the red wire...

Well since my self imposed haitus from work continues, we will talk today about the excitement in someone else's life again - the outcast we call Tony. True to his usual form Tony was reunited today with a figure out of his distant past...the man who long ago tested Tony for his black belt in Tae Kwon Do, yes none other than Grandmaster of ATA Taekwondo master S.H. Lee. Who, upon seeing Tony stated "Yousa look very familiar to mesa, Do I know you?" After performing the secret Taekwondo bow Tony replied, yes grandmasta, you tested me for black belt. The grandmaster then used his authentic ATA phone and called our old master Scott Stauffer, who of course remembered Tony "That lanky kid that had the little brother who broke his nose with a righteous hook kick? sure I know him!" Tony then received 3 VIP passes to a tournament tomorrow and some passes for a free class. Because, as you might of guessed, this chance meeting has prompted Tony to begin his ATA career again.

Not to be undone, Dr. J has also decided to begin his career in ATA over again after a 10 year break! I will not be bested by a man whose nose and back i once broke! I am returning to my roots! (with the exception of hiding poop-stained underwear behind my dresser, Tricia would find them)

Mikey-wan-baldi-kenobi...she is your only hope..

So in case any of you have been wondering what or who I'm talking about when I state "go to her, beg for her forgiveness" her she is in all her glory.. The famous Holly. Michaels first love. Unfortunately he gave up this gem because she was too much of a woman for him, but we at the Capra family keep trying to convince his that, in enginerd terms, there is a direct corelation between the meters of hair loss and the difficulty in finding a suitable mate....(of the opposite sex Yimmy)

Recovery time.....for now

Well being on the trauma team for orthopedics really took a lot out of me, but thankfully that time is done. I got to see some really unique injuries, and participate in numerous amputations, but its kind of like syphillis (fun for a while, but you dont want to live with it). So I have now settled down to a rotation that is much easier: Outpatient medicine clinic! Thats right, for 4 weeks all i have to do is attend clinic where fat people with high blood pressure, high cholesterol, diabetes, and joint complaints tell me how their life is miserable while I tell them to lose weight and give them medication to cover over their symptoms. An easy way to spend the last 4 weeks of my medical school career. Has it really been 4 years? Holy buddha that went quick (by the way I shart on buddhas face). To fill all my free time now I have engaged in the following hobbies:
1. Ballroom dancing (yes I know what you are thinking but I'm married and unlike Yimmy I'm actually doing it for a purpose other than attracting yee yees - I have to dance the Tango at the upcoming wedding)
2. Fencing. This one is fun, but it kind of stinks because my partner tricia has the full gear and I only have the foil thing, so it feels like my lung collapses every time she pokes me. I challenge any Capra to try and take her on in fencing, she is actually pretty good (she took a class so she cheated)
3. Violin. Ahh yess as a man of high society I have to work with sophisticated instruments such as the violin. I was shocked to find out that I had an old violin and all my old Suzuki books in my closet. For those of you wanting to hear my skill attend the wedding where I will be playing selected songs for your enjoyment.
4. Making fun of my bald brother....go to her.....you must beg for her forgiveness..

We need you Dr. J...Now!!!!!

You may wonder what some hotdogs and sausages on a gril have to do with medicine...apparently everything. There I am sitting in clinic, bored of seeing the same old stuff. Its Friday and I'm feeling like going home and wasting time playing Halo2. All of the sudden the intern runs in with his scrubs on, eyes wide, panting for breath. "Hey Jason there you are! Ive been looking all over for you!" He shouted. All the eyes in the clinic turned to me with inquisitive looks. I sharted...just a bit. As a medical student you do a lot of useless crap througout the years, but you are always waiting for that one defining moment; that moment when someone actually needs you, when you actually come through for somebody by using bit of knowledge that you picked up over the last four years. This was my moment, this was it. Standing up fast, I shoved the chair I was sitting to the corner and yelled "I'm ready whats up!?" He looked scared, so I could tell it was something bad, the shart must have really hit the fan if they needed my help. "Can you cook hotdogs and sausages?" he said. Thinking he was joking to help him deal with the stress of the current situation I laughingy replied "Of course man, I'm Italian!". "Good" He said "I need someone to watch the grill for me while I go to the OR, can you handle that man? The ortho team always cooks sausages and hotdogs on Fridays...Can you do it?" No problem. Out the back door I trudged and with my white coat and scrubs on I cooked sausages and hotdogs for a few hours. They actually turned out pretty good, but now my white coat smells like charcoal. Oh well, I guess things could have been worse....I could be getting a degree in engineering and going bald....Go to her...beg for her forgiveness......

The cost of freedom

A view from my spot on morning rounds at 0545. The end of the bed in the surgical ward. What you see in front of you is part of a marine, with part of a leg.

Cant write much, have to go to sleep so I can wake up at 3:45AM to go back to work. I'm on the Ortho trauma team, which means one thing - Operation Iraqi Freedom IED casualties - All Day. These unfortunate marines get medivac'd in almost every day from germany and most of them have either missing or extrememly mangled limbs - or both. Today I used a saw to perform a below the knee amputation on a 22 year old, I helped clean out a wound after an above the knee amputation, and I stuck my hands inside a marines arm to feel if he had any tendons left after getting hit while being a gunner on a vehicle. How did I know if they were tendons? I pulled on them until I saw his fingers move. Its one thing to hear about stuff on TV, or see it in passing, its completely another to be covered in the blood of someone that could very well have been you or one of your brothers. As I came back home to Andrews AFB today and stopped my car on the road for the sound of the National Anthem, It meant a little something different. This stuff sucks, but there are brave people out there every day putting their lives on the line, and they deserve our thanks..Come home safe Sandbox